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My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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