i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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