Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
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You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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