well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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