Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
