Betty ford says i'm here all night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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