Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
