I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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