I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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