What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
