I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
