so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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