I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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