Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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