Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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