question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
