So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
