Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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