the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
