You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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