He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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