i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
