so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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