No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
