Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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