How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
