Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
