Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize