honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
