you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize