your parents love me but you hate me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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