Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
