Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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