There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would fuck him just for his dog
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
