See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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