I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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