My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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