he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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