Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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