I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
