you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
