I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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