fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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