can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
is it fun? or sober?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
