You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
