Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
