and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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