This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize