I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
