He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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