i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
