So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize