I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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