Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
