Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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