I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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