I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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