Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
