i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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