Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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