All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
