My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
